Thursday, September 18, 2014

Journal #11

Where She left Him...


One cold, windy day a girl, no older than 13, was taking a walk through the woods at a time many would not dare to. The moon was full and bright but there wasn't a single star in sight. The creek ran peacefully in the still of the night. She did this quite often, daring to do things not many would because of a tale people would say to scare the young but she never believed it. She just laughed at them and began to walk in the middle of the night by the pale moon glow following the same old path she always took. The tale told of a vile, sickening creature lurking and waiting deep in woods for its next victim, but only came out when the moon was full and not a single star shone bright. She grew tired of the old path she took and decided to try a different one and see if she could find this so called creature that lurks in the woods.
A sudden cry for help came from what seemed from the ground. She was so startled from it that she lost her balance and twisted her ankle on a root from a large oak tree. In one fluid motion she got back off, intrigued by the mysterious voice, and staggered toward it. “Hello? Is someone here in the woods? Do thee need any help?” she shakily spoke aloud. “Over here! I am trapped and have a great thirst!” a deep, sweet voice answered back. She had found the body for that mysterious voice. A boy about 15 with beautiful, blue eye stared up at her. “Could you please fetch me a drink from the stream. I am in dire need of it. I have been stuck in this well for a day but by my surprise there is no water in this well only mud!” the boy said sweetly yet horsed.
She did what the boy wished and went to the creek to find a plastic bottle conveniently by it. Once the bottle was full with cool water, she turned about and headed back to the well. The vile creature was far from her mind as she wondered how a boy got stuck in a well. To her surprise the boy was gone. She was sure this is where she left him. Within that moment a dark laugh turned into a gruesome roar from all around. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, a pit in her stomach began to grow, and her breathing quickened. Leaves and sticks snapped with every step it took, getting closer and closer. Fear consumed her and her ankle throbbed. She knew there was no reason to run for it was too late. Long, dry fingers with sharp nails firmly grasp her neck. At that moment she knew the creature was real and she was it’s next victim...

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Oooooooh I like it a lot. I wish you hadn't of left it as a cliff hanger you could've continued. Even so, I loved it and good job.

Unknown said...

I thought it was a great story but I really think you should've continued.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

yeah. I wanted the reader to come up with their own ending and to see where their imaginations might lead them.

Unknown said...

I love how creepy it is! It's very similar to how my story went. Great minds think alike. And I enjoy how it doesn't continue, makes you think. And I could think of many ending to this. Bravo!

Unknown said...

thats what I was going for!